Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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