I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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