I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
