you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
