I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize