you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize