I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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