Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
well you can't waste a boner
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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