Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
