what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
