Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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