just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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