Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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