I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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