I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
