Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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