I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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