If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
