hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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