Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
