I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
