i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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