Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
