im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're too hungover to prance.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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