I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
