he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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