So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
