I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
