Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize