I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
