was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
vagina is talking i cant
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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