just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My life is pants optional.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
