No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
