My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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