Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
God I need to hump something, right now.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
