Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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