im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
high people should be assigned attendants
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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