you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize