She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
