so that wasnt chicken after all
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
