pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
