Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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