I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize