He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
