I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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