Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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