We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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