I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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