Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
