If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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