she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize