I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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