Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
