I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
