Porn is love you can see.
My liver just broke up with me...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
