he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
