Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
