Ambien. No doubt about it.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize