Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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