How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
