The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
