She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
