somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
