4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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